Opinions

Everyone has them. Some of them, I even agree with.

Anywhere you look these days, someone is trying to force-feed you their opinion. Whether it is someone in an internet community, a fellow driver on the road, a coworker, or even that billboard, there is always someone out there who is trying to convert you to their way of thinking.

Most recently, and most applicable to my current situation, the prevalent opinions are regarding the validity (and even manliness) of being an At-Home Dad.

I think it goes without saying that there are two camps in this debate; for and against. I also think it goes without saying which camp my wife and I belong to; we're for it.

When we first found out she was pregnant, we began the discussion of whether or not it made sense for me to stay home. We talked about everything. Parenting styles (luckily, she already knew what kind of father I am), fiscal challenges, how we thought it would affect our relationship, how it would affect each of us as individuals. Really, the decision was pretty easy to make.

The detractors of SAHDs seem to be saying pretty much the same thing: it is the responsibility of the man to provide fiscally and butt out of everything else, except take the kids hunting on the weekends. Now, this is a drastic generalization, but it sums up the tens of thousands of words I've read about the issue. (Have I mentioned that I like reading? About anything?)

The opponents say some interesting things, like: it's not manly to be the primary caregiver (or even help out in any but the most basic of ways), and men don't deserve respect unless they're earning a paycheck.

The ignorance and intolerance astounds me. Unfortunately, the vast majority of people against men raising children are also including things like, "God built women for children and men for work." And, "The Bible says the man has to provide for the family." Which just pulls religion into it. I'm not going to get much into that aspect of it other than to say, "If you don't agree with it, don't do it... but don't you dare try to shove your religious mumbo-jumbo down my throat."

The fact of the matter is that I am well aware that everyone on this planet is judgmental. It makes me sad, but the only person I can change is myself (and I try very hard not to be judgmental... and still fail sometimes, because I AM human). I know that people are going to judge me as less of a man. For everything I do: knitting, crocheting, parenting full-time, or any of the myriad other "less manly" things I do.

I also know that while, to some extent, I care what some people think, my truth is this: your opinions aren't going to change me, or cause me to change myself.

So, unless you have something nice to say, don't say anything at all... because if you display ignorance, intolerance, spite or hatred, I'm going to cut you out of my life. I only make room for the positive things.

-A