Sunday night, I came to the realization that I'm frightened. Not about becoming a father again. Not even about becoming a full-time parent for the first time. No, what scares the ever-living hell out of me is that anytime between now and early December, I am going to die.
See, as soon as Goose shows up, the me that I am today, the me that I'm particularly fond of, is going to be laid to rest forever. Taking his place is going to be some other me that I haven't met yet. Am I going to like this other me? Is this other me going to continue down the path I've set us on? Is my wife going to like my replacement? Are my children? This new person - who is wearing my body like some less-murderous Thomas Hewitt - is he going to treat my family as well as they deserve?
Sure, signs all point to yes, but no one can say that definitively, especially not me. There's a precedent in our species that states that everyone who brings a child into this world is forever changed. And I know that you know someone specifically that was extraordinarily cool once upon a time, but then they popped out a kid or three and now they're the ultimate douchemonster.
Normally, I'm a big fan of change... but this one scares the !@#* out of me.
-A
Rest assured, you can have kids (more kids in your case) and still be cool. I would know ;)
ReplyDeleteI second the thought. It just becomes a new balance.
ReplyDelete